Where to find the light

Some antidotes to hard times

I’m writing this little missive at about 6:45 AM on Saturday, and right outside my window, the sun is just starting to peek up behind the buildings and trees. It’s the most gorgeous spectrum — sherbert orange into custard into periwinkle. Ben is still sleeping, and when I snuck into my office at about six this morning, Edie leapt from her nest at the foot of our bed and curled up next to him. I don’t love her in my sheets, but I gave her a pass today. We could all use a little tenderness these days, don’t you think?

One of my goals for the year was to not put too much pressure on myself to churn out a brilliant, fully-formed piece of work every single week. (That’s hard when you’re a perfectionist like me, and you love the little community you’ve built online, and you want to give them something to read on a Sunday morning.) It can be tough to find the time to write when you have a full-time job, and an apartment to clean, and a husband to spend time with, and friends to catch up with. But writing at my desk in the morning is also where I feel the most at peace. All of this to say: The piece I’m working on is taking a little longer than expected, which is perfectly okay!

That said, the news has been a little hard to stomach lately. I’ve been trying to spend time offline and connect with loved ones in real life. But the Internet is also where I find things that light a little spark of joy in my belly. So I’m trying to strike a balance where I can.

Here are a few things that have been bringing me some joy lately:

• On Tuesday, I came across this post from Dr. Tiffany Jana, and it’s reframed how I’m approaching life in this moment. It’s given me so much peace that I’ve watched it at least once a day since.

• We have so many taper candles left over from our wedding, and I’d been keeping them in their boxes in order to save them for dinner parties. But in the spirit of “burn the special candles and wear the fancy perfume,” I recently pulled them out and have been lighting them whenever I sit down at the table. It is, truly, a vibe — one I can’t recommend enough.

• Inspired by Harling Ross’s latest newsletters about overhauling her “home clothes,” I’ve embarked on a similar exercise. One of her recommendations is to wear jewelry in the house, even if you’re just wearing cozy clothing with elastic waists. It’s made my dressing for working-from-home feel much more intentional, which I’ve found makes me feel a little more productive.

• Also on work-from-home days, I’ve been trying to sit down and make myself a special lunch instead of just grazing throughout the day. Lately I’ve been making myself a small bowl of cozy pasta. I sauté roughly-chopped garlic and red pepper seeds in olive oil until it’s just toasty, and then add a carton of cherry tomatoes and a splash of water. I season, turn the heat to low, and then let it simmer for 10-ish minutes until the tomatoes break down and release their juices. I then smash them with a spoon, add a little drizzle of cream, toss them with noodles, and mix in some chopped parsley. And I eat at the table, not at my desk — a total game-changer.

• When we were in Paris, Ben and I ran out of toothpaste, so we bought a small, travel-sized tube of Marvis Amarelli Licorice toothpaste. We loved it so much, we’ve decided to buy the full-sized tubes as a little indulgence. I know you’re probably thinking “licorice-flavored toothpaste?!” But we love it! Ben says it tastes like brushing your teeth with Sambuca, which is just fine with me.

I hope you’re able to find pockets of brightness where you can. Remember to log off, drink some water, and be gentle with yourself where you can. We can’t get through anything without community. I feel lucky for this one.

xx MDR