Oh, I did not expect to cry the way I am reading this. We do not know each other but I am sending you all of the loving, hopeful energy I can possibly muster. You are in my thoughts. What a beautiful writer you are.
“500 people don’t wait for two hours in the humidity for someone who doesn’t wind up in the good place.”
Maria, I'm sending you and your family so much love. This was beautiful and devastating to read. (The fact that you were able to put together something so powerful and coherent during a time of unimaginable chaos and horror is proof of your talent, not that we needed any. You are amazing.)
Sending you hope and peace to get through this really hard time. Thanks for sharing with all of us readers who have followed your journey for so long. ❤️🩹
Akh, Maria, the way I sobbed reading this and I know you only through the parasocial tethers of my inbox.
I know you might not feel there's meaning to all of this, to any of this-- but there's meaning in that, in what you wrote and sent today. There's meaning in that gift you have and in the strangers you share it with, that your words can mean something so intense to someone else.
Yes! Can we all write a guide on what NOT to say? The amount of times I’ve heard this, and other cliche “at least…” statements, during my husband’s cancer diagnosis and treatment and our infertility diagnosis is mind blowing. Hugs to you all!
Longtime follower and IVF mom, this made me cry big tears for you. It's so unfair and you deserve nothing but happiness. You are such a gifted writer even though unimaginable grief. The picture of Billy's hand on your head while you sleep gave me hope for my son and daughter that they will be as close as you and Billy as they grow up. I'm not religious but I feel/hope he is able to feel all of the love now and be at peace.
Beautiful piece, and also I’m so sorry this is what’s happening/accumulating. Keep writing even if you don’t post. I love what you wrote about not being sure about meaning, or lack thereof. I think a lot of times I have looked for the meaning of pain to be profound and revelatory, and then I find it to be more stubborn and small than that. Less a dramatic answer to “why?” and more a quiet unfolding of “what?” and “how?” What remains, what changes, how we keep going and learn to carry something we would have NEVER fucking chosen. Meaning often emerges for me there, and sometimes it only does when I write about it. Anyways, just wanted to share that and also thank YOU for sharing❤️
the beauty and the vulnerability in your writing is so touching, maria. i hope at the very least you can continue to write through your grief — it’s as much a gift for us as i’m sure it’s a salve for you. ❤️
I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss. If I can offer any hope or glimmers of light, I lost my mom unexpectedly three years ago and can honestly say that while it was and still is so difficult, it has completely changed the way I live my life. Can bad things still happen? You bet. So I better live my life the way that brings me the most joy and happiness. I finally feel free from caring about what other people think or their opinions on how I move through the world. It sounds so cliche but I think experiencing such monumental loss drives home how precious and fragile life is, so it's harder to take for granted. I hope you experience a similar freedom at some point <3 sending lots of love
Sending you love and prayers for the strength you need to get through this difficult time. I’m not an overly religious person, but I believe that having faith in God, whomever or whatever that may be, will help you get through this period in your life. ❤️
Oh, I did not expect to cry the way I am reading this. We do not know each other but I am sending you all of the loving, hopeful energy I can possibly muster. You are in my thoughts. What a beautiful writer you are.
“500 people don’t wait for two hours in the humidity for someone who doesn’t wind up in the good place.”
Maria, I'm sending you and your family so much love. This was beautiful and devastating to read. (The fact that you were able to put together something so powerful and coherent during a time of unimaginable chaos and horror is proof of your talent, not that we needed any. You are amazing.)
Thank you. You are amazing <3
Sending you hope and peace to get through this really hard time. Thanks for sharing with all of us readers who have followed your journey for so long. ❤️🩹
Akh, Maria, the way I sobbed reading this and I know you only through the parasocial tethers of my inbox.
I know you might not feel there's meaning to all of this, to any of this-- but there's meaning in that, in what you wrote and sent today. There's meaning in that gift you have and in the strangers you share it with, that your words can mean something so intense to someone else.
"Everything happens for a reason" are words you'll never say again after such a tragedy. I hear you on all this and am here for you.
Ain't that the truth? I hate that we're both in this club <3
Yes! Can we all write a guide on what NOT to say? The amount of times I’ve heard this, and other cliche “at least…” statements, during my husband’s cancer diagnosis and treatment and our infertility diagnosis is mind blowing. Hugs to you all!
Maria, there are now words other than to say I am so sorry.
Thank you for using your power in words and in turn, sharing your grief with us <3
I am so so sorry, Maria. Thinking about you and wishing you and your family all the best as you navigate this difficult time ❤️
Oh Maria so beautifully written. I don’t know what ifs all for but I love and admire you so very much.
Sending you all the love 🤍, Maria
Longtime follower and IVF mom, this made me cry big tears for you. It's so unfair and you deserve nothing but happiness. You are such a gifted writer even though unimaginable grief. The picture of Billy's hand on your head while you sleep gave me hope for my son and daughter that they will be as close as you and Billy as they grow up. I'm not religious but I feel/hope he is able to feel all of the love now and be at peace.
Beautiful piece, and also I’m so sorry this is what’s happening/accumulating. Keep writing even if you don’t post. I love what you wrote about not being sure about meaning, or lack thereof. I think a lot of times I have looked for the meaning of pain to be profound and revelatory, and then I find it to be more stubborn and small than that. Less a dramatic answer to “why?” and more a quiet unfolding of “what?” and “how?” What remains, what changes, how we keep going and learn to carry something we would have NEVER fucking chosen. Meaning often emerges for me there, and sometimes it only does when I write about it. Anyways, just wanted to share that and also thank YOU for sharing❤️
Love you lots, friend <3
the beauty and the vulnerability in your writing is so touching, maria. i hope at the very least you can continue to write through your grief — it’s as much a gift for us as i’m sure it’s a salve for you. ❤️
This is devastating. I’m so sorry for your loss!
I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss. If I can offer any hope or glimmers of light, I lost my mom unexpectedly three years ago and can honestly say that while it was and still is so difficult, it has completely changed the way I live my life. Can bad things still happen? You bet. So I better live my life the way that brings me the most joy and happiness. I finally feel free from caring about what other people think or their opinions on how I move through the world. It sounds so cliche but I think experiencing such monumental loss drives home how precious and fragile life is, so it's harder to take for granted. I hope you experience a similar freedom at some point <3 sending lots of love
Sending you love and prayers for the strength you need to get through this difficult time. I’m not an overly religious person, but I believe that having faith in God, whomever or whatever that may be, will help you get through this period in your life. ❤️