How to cook when you're burnt out

Or, what to do with that can of beans in your pantry

I don’t think I need to tell you that, as a whole, people are burnt out. There has been article, after article, after article written about how workers in this country are reaching their breaking point when it comes to work stress. It’s part of the reason why people are quitting en masse, leaving the corporate world for freelance work. But let me tell you—as someone who lives with a contract worker, and whose friend group consists of many freelancers, they are equally stretched to the brink.

I had my own breaking point this week, including at my job, which, for various reasons I cannot get into. Suffice to say that there was a point around 7:30 PM on Tuesday where I found myself scream-crying into a pillow so that my lovely landlady wouldn’t hear me downstairs and, thus, kick Ben and I out of the apartment we’ve been busting our asses to finish for the past month.

And it’s exhausting, you know? It’s exhausting to feel like you’re working your ass off just to be told that you need to be working harder, even though you are literally at your limit and you don’t see a good reason why you should break your back for work. It’s exhausting to hear people who literally have never been in your position tell you you’re lazy, or entitled, or not giving 100%. It’s exhausting that I feel like I should be monetizing every single part of my life, including this newsletter, to feel like I’m giving enough, or like I have any semblance of control over my life and how I make my money.

So, yeah, I’m feeling burnt out. And even though cooking is one of the things that makes me feel better when I’m stressed beyond-belief, there are some weeks when I just can’t get it done. So I don’t have a family recipe for you this week.

Instead, I’d like to introduce you to my burnout meal.

Burnout meals are a term that I’ve coined for dishes you whip together from shit in your pantry when you need to eat, and you want something comforting and filling, but you can’t be bothered to do anything too elaborate. (I use the term “dishes” loosely here, as I consider peanut butter from the jar a burnout meal.)

There isn’t a whole lot of rhyme or reason to these meals. No, these are meals of desperation. Some shredded cheddar cheese over tortilla chips dipped in sour cream, perhaps. Or some macaroni and cheese from the box, but you don’t have milk, so you put half a stick of butter in there instead. (Admit you’ve done this!! WE’VE ALL DONE THIS!)

My burnout meal was born of a tilapia recipe my mother used to make us when we were kids that included stewing cherry tomatoes and beans over a medium flame until the tomatoes burst. One day, while living on my own, I had a can of white beans in my fridge that I wanted to get rid of. So I made the tomato and bean mixture without the fish. I added a handful of spinach that was about to go bad in my fridge. It was delicious.

The next time I made the beans, I thought to myself, “Wouldn’t this taste amazing with a ton of fucking cheese?” So I added a ton of fucking cheese. And then I started eating the beans over olive oil toast. Thus, Burnout Beans were born.

I wish that burnout meals didn’t have to exist. But I haven’t figured out how to fix our capitalist society yet. I can only fix dinner.

So below, please find one of my burnout meals, which I’ve dubbed Burnout Beans. And please take to the comments to share your own burnout meals with me. I want to hear the things you eat when you just need to get by. Because even if you’re just opening some tuna and eating it straight from the can while standing over the sink and crying, I want you to know you’re doing great. We’re all doing the best we can. And that is good enough.

Oh, a quick scheduling note: Due to burnout, and the fact that I’m headed to the Jersey Shore for the long weekend, there will be no Sunday Sauce next week. But as it’s Ben’s first time to the Seaside Heights/Point Pleasant Beach stretch, I plan to take him around and feed him as much fried food as possible. So I’ll be sharing my favorite spots to visit and eat on my Instagram. Make sure to follow along, and enjoy your long weekend, if you get one. You deserve it!

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Here’s what’s cooking

Burnout Beans

INGREDIENTS

• 2 Tbsp olive oil

• 3 large cloves garlic, chopped

• 1 pint cherry tomatoes

• 1 can cannellini or kidney beans, drained and rinsed

• 2-3 cups spinach leaves, packed

• 1 container pearled mozzarella

• 2 Tbsp grated parmesan

• Basil, for topping

• Salt for taste

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Add olive oil to a cast iron skillet over medium-high heat. Once shimmering, toss in your chopped garlic and cook, stirring occasionally, until golden, about 3 minutes.

2. Throw in your cherry tomatoes and do not stir. Let them sit in an even layer until they start to blister and burst, around 5 minutes. Once they start to release their juices, you can start helping them along by smashing them with the back of a wooden spoon and stirring.

3. Add your beans in and mix until heated through, about 2 minutes. Next, add your spinach, one handful at a time, until wilted—another 3 minutes. Turn off the heat and use your wooden spoon to smooth your mixture into an even layer in the skillet.

4. Sprinkle mozzarella pearls over in an even layer, and then top with parmesan cheese.

5. Put your broiler on high, and slide your skillet in. Leave under the broiler for about 5 minutes until the cheese is bubbling and slightly browned on top.

6. Remove from the broiler and top with basil, if you so choose. Serve warm over toast.

Love ya,
xx MDR